![\"Marco](\"https:\/\/quirkycharacters.com.au\/stories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Marco-y-Ruben-2013.jpg\")
<\/p>\nEnglish \u2013 6 minute read\/Espa\u00f1ol – Lectura de 6 minutos<\/p>\n
Today is the fourth anniversary of the death of my brother-in-law Ruben, who lived in Lima, Peru. My husband Marco came to Australia 35 years ago and so for most of their adult lives, the two brothers could only communicate over the phone. They spent just a few weeks together over five separate trips Marco made back home during the last three decades. Ruben had been ill with cancer for a few months before his death but it still came as a shock when he deteriorated quickly and passed away before we could see him again. A few days ago, I asked Marco how he was feeling coming up to the anniversary. It\u2019s always a sad time so this year I decided to try to get more of a sense of their relationship. I of course knew Ruben, having met him in person on the two trips I did to Peru before his death. I remember being struck by how similar he was to Marco upon first meeting him. He had a big broad smile like his brother and the same easy-going friendly nature. Something about him made me feel so comfortable really quickly. He welcomed me into his home and he did his best to converse with me in English. His command of my language was much better than my command of his language, Spanish, at that point. Still he struggled a bit because he did not use English so often but bless him he persevered for me and I was really appreciative of his kindness. I believe you can always learn something about a person every time you speak to them. Particularly as we advance in years, we gather so many experiences that we always have a new story to tell. But the only way I often remember these snippets about someone is to make shorthand notes as I\u2019m asking the questions and receiving the answers. In this case, I wanted Marco to return to his childhood and re-create for me the scenes he could vividly recall. I\u2019m struggling to remember the exact details as I am writing this now so to me this shows just how important it is to make notes. I have notebooks from decades ago that when I return to them, even though I may have only written a few words for an answer I received, I know exactly how that conversation went and the rest of the details or gist of the story and I can create a lengthy summary just from those few words. And so it is with the three pages of notes I jotted down the other day. Scribbled words that will form the basis of the story below.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Marco and Ruben in 2013 in Lima\/\u00a0Marco y Ruben en 2013 en Lima<\/em><\/p>\n My husband Marco was born five years and four months after his brother Ruben. In a coincidence Marco noted himself during our recent conversation, his two grandsons were born five years and seven months apart. He often watches them interacting and it brings back memories of the way Ruben would look after and protect him when they were at school or elsewhere away from their parents. He knows that Ruben always had his back and so it will be with his eldest grandson already gently guiding his younger brother through life. When I asked Marco what memories he had of Ruben growing up, his first answer was about playing a game called \u2018Takles\u2019 in the room they shared. This game involved jumping on the walls sideways and seeing who could jump the highest. I can imagine little To\u00f1o (Tone-yo), as he was called by his family, trying his hardest to match the high mark on the wall set by Ruben. It would have all been in good humour and whilst competitive with each other, Marco tells me the two of them rarely had a cross word.<\/p>\n He remembers long days playing in the front garden of their home, rolling marbles into the holes in the concrete path and kicking a soccer ball around in the dirt. As they got older and were more independent, the boys, along with their older brother Miguel, would head down from the cliff top home they shared, in Juan Fanning Street Miraflores, with their parents and sister Anita to the beach below. Marco loved going for a swim in the ocean. \u00a0But Ruben would not venture out very far and preferred to stay on the sand after a teenage misadventure on a school camp where he almost drowned in a river. The brothers loved playing a game called paletas, a cross between tennis and handball, a national obsession in Peru. Ruben later represented his workplace in soccer and took up jogging to keep fit. In 1967, when he was just 16 years old, Ruben journeyed with a group of 20 or so friends to New York. During his time there, Ruben learnt to speak better English and earnt his living delivering sandwiches and coffee. He stayed for two years, occupying neighbourhoods such as Manhattan and New Jersey. He returned home to his close-knit family which he had missed terribly, with a suitcase full of clothing, perfumes and international records; Dionne Warwick, Tom Jones, Andy Williams and Engelbert Humperdinck. By now Marco was about 12 years old and this music would shape his musical tastes for decades to come. As young men, Ruben and Marco would play card games like Casino and hover over a chess board for hours, strategically planning each and every move in order to gain victory. Their father would join them in arm wrestling matches, encouraging his boys in healthy competition.<\/p>\n Marco (bottom left) and Ruben (right side) in 1958 with their parents,\u00a0brother Miguel and extended family. \/\u00a0Marco (abajo a la izquierda) y Rub\u00e9n (lado derecho) en 1958 con sus padres,\u00a0<\/em>hermano Miguel y familia extensa.<\/em><\/p>\n After he returned from New York, Ruben landed work as a medical representative and was granted a company car, a brown Volkswagen Beetle. Ruben would often take Marco for a drive in the Beetle, visiting friends or just hanging out. As they grew older however, with the five-year age gap, it was inevitable that they would drift apart somewhat. Ruben had his friends and Marco\u2019s ones being younger, they moved in different circles for a while. By the time Marco was 27, Ruben had married Gladys and the brothers were leading very different lives. Marco emigrated to Australia and their relationship would become one where daily adventures and brotherly hugs were replaced by phone calls and snail mail letters accompanied by printed family photographs. It would be 13 years before they saw each other again. On those rare trips home to Lima, Marco would take turns staying at each of his sibling\u2019s houses. Ruben was a bit of a workaholic but when Marco was in Lima, he would bring his work home and set up office so that he could be around all day, juggling taking phone calls for his international shipping job and spending time with his brother. Their favourite places to go were the Swiss Club or to Caf\u00e9 Haiti overlooking Parque Kennedy, a place that had been around since their childhood. Ruben would drive his old dark brown Fiat Lada station wagon through the chaotic traffic, just for an outing to have a coffee and a meal and later perhaps share their love of washing the car until it shone like a diamond in the sunlight. Their father, being a taxi driver who was fastidiously obsessed with having a clean car, rubbed off on the boys and tending to the car was a chance to reminisce over times past. In the evenings, either Ruben or Marco would walk from Ruben\u2019s house to the corner store to buy \u2018lonche\u2019, the Peruvian equivalent of a light supper; fresh white bread rolls with ham and cheese. The two of them could talk for hours, discussing current affairs, international relations, music and old friends from the neighbourhood.<\/p>\n Ruben, as the older brother, would advise Marco on various issues and Marco, the dutiful younger brother, would always listen and mostly obey! Ruben told it like it was, but he did so in a manner that was friendly and protective and so it had been since the day Marco was born and his five-year-old brother first held him in his arms. After witnessing older brother Miguel face a difficult journey with his own cancer battle and conquering it, we all believed that Ruben would pull through. But took his life the cancer did, at just 64 years old. He never got the chance to retire or to enjoy his golden years after almost fifty years in the workforce. So now that the shock has faded a little, it is time to put the memories we have of Ruben down on paper. We will write stories of him and share them with his family and with Marco\u2019s grandchildren, so they know more than just the fact they had an Uncle Ruben they sadly never got to meet in person, but that they are able to meet through the telling of the stories of his life.<\/p>\n Hoy es el cuarto aniversario de la muerte de mi cu\u00f1ado Rub\u00e9n, que viv\u00eda en Lima, Per\u00fa. Mi esposo Marco vino a Australia hace 35 a\u00f1os y, por lo tanto, durante la mayor parte de su vida adulta, los dos hermanos solo pod\u00edan comunicarse por tel\u00e9fono. Pasaron solo unas pocas semanas juntos en cinco viajes separados que Marco hizo de regreso a casa durante las \u00faltimas tres d\u00e9cadas. Rub\u00e9n hab\u00eda estado enfermo de c\u00e1ncer durante unos meses antes de su muerte, pero a\u00fan as\u00ed fue un shock cuando se deterior\u00f3 r\u00e1pidamente y falleci\u00f3 antes de que pudi\u00e9ramos verlo nuevamente. Hace unos d\u00edas, le pregunt\u00e9 a Marco c\u00f3mo se sent\u00eda antes del aniversario. Siempre es un momento triste, as\u00ed que este a\u00f1o decid\u00ed intentar tener una idea m\u00e1s clara de su relaci\u00f3n. Por supuesto, conoc\u00eda a Rub\u00e9n, despu\u00e9s de haberlo conocido en persona en los dos viajes que hice a Per\u00fa antes de su muerte. Recuerdo que me sorprendi\u00f3 lo parecido que era con Marco al conocerlo por primera vez. Ten\u00eda una gran sonrisa como su hermano y la misma naturaleza amigable y tranquila. Algo sobre \u00e9l me hizo sentir muy c\u00f3moda muy r\u00e1pido. Me recibi\u00f3 en su casa e hizo todo lo posible para conversar conmigo en ingl\u00e9s. Su dominio de mi idioma era mucho mejor que mi dominio de su idioma, el espa\u00f1ol, en ese momento. A\u00fan as\u00ed luch\u00f3 un poco porque no usaba el ingl\u00e9s muy a menudo, pero bendito sea, persever\u00f3 por m\u00ed y realmente apreci\u00e9 su amabilidad. Creo que siempre puedes aprender algo sobre una persona cada vez que les hablas. Particularmente a medida que avanzamos en a\u00f1os, reunimos tantas experiencias que siempre tenemos una nueva historia que contar. Pero la \u00fanica forma en que a menudo recuerdo estos fragmentos sobre alguien es haciendo notas abreviadas mientras hago las preguntas y recibo las respuestas. En este caso, quer\u00eda que Marco volviera a su infancia y recreara para m\u00ed las escenas que pod\u00eda recordar v\u00edvidamente. Me cuesta recordar los detalles exactos mientras escribo esto, as\u00ed que para m\u00ed esto muestra cu\u00e1n importante es tomar notas. Tengo cuadernos de hace d\u00e9cadas que, cuando vuelvo a ellos, aunque solo haya escrito unas pocas palabras para una respuesta que recib\u00ed, s\u00e9 exactamente c\u00f3mo fue esa conversaci\u00f3n y el resto de los detalles o la esencia de la historia y puedo crear un extenso resumen solo de esas pocas palabras. Y as\u00ed es con las tres p\u00e1ginas de notas que anot\u00e9 el otro d\u00eda. Palabras garabateadas que formar\u00e1n la base de la historia a continuaci\u00f3n.<\/em><\/p>\n Mi esposo Marco naci\u00f3 cinco a\u00f1os y cuatro meses despu\u00e9s de su hermano Rub\u00e9n. En una coincidencia, Marco se destac\u00f3 durante nuestra conversaci\u00f3n reciente, sus dos nietos nacieron separados por cinco a\u00f1os y siete meses. A menudo los ve interactuando y le trae recuerdos de la forma en que Rub\u00e9n cuidar\u00eda y lo proteger\u00eda cuando estaban en la escuela o en otro lugar lejos de sus padres. \u00c9l sabe que Rub\u00e9n siempre estuvo de espaldas, por lo que ser\u00e1 con su nieto mayor guiando gentilmente a su hermano menor por la vida. Cuando le pregunt\u00e9 a Marco qu\u00e9 recuerdos ten\u00eda de que Ruben crec\u00eda, su primera respuesta fue jugar un juego llamado “Takles” en la habitaci\u00f3n que compart\u00edan. Este juego implicaba saltar de lado a lado en las paredes y ver qui\u00e9n pod\u00eda saltar m\u00e1s alto. Me imagino al peque\u00f1o To\u00f1o, como lo llam\u00f3 su familia, haciendo todo lo posible para igualar la marca alta en la pared colocada por Rub\u00e9n. Todo habr\u00eda sido de buen humor y, aunque compet\u00edan entre s\u00ed, Marco me dice que los dos rara vez ten\u00edan una palabra cruzada.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00c9l recuerda largos d\u00edas jugando en el jard\u00edn delantero de su casa, rodando canicas en los agujeros en el camino de concreto y pateando una pelota de f\u00fatbol en la tierra. A medida que crec\u00edan y eran m\u00e1s independientes, los ni\u00f1os, junto con su hermano mayor Miguel, se dirig\u00edan desde la casa, Calle Juan Fanning, Miraflores, que compart\u00edan con sus padres y su hermana Anita a la playa de abajo. A Marco le encantaba nadar en el oc\u00e9ano. Pero Rub\u00e9n no se aventurar\u00eda muy lejos y prefiri\u00f3 quedarse en la arena, despu\u00e9s de que era un adolescente tuvo una mala aventura en un campamento escolar donde casi se ahoga en un r\u00edo. A los hermanos les encantaba jugar un juego llamado Paletas, un cruce entre el tenis y el balonmano, una obsesi\u00f3n nacional en Per\u00fa. Rub\u00e9n m\u00e1s tarde represent\u00f3 su lugar de trabajo en el f\u00fatbol y comenz\u00f3 a trotar para mantenerse en forma. En 1967, cuando ten\u00eda solo 16 a\u00f1os, Ruben viaj\u00f3 con un grupo de unos 20 amigos a Nueva York. Durante su tiempo all\u00ed, Rub\u00e9n aprendi\u00f3 a hablar mejor ingl\u00e9s y se ganaba la vida repartiendo s\u00e1ndwiches y caf\u00e9. Permaneci\u00f3 dos a\u00f1os, ocupando barrios como Manhattan y New Jersey. Regres\u00f3 a su casa con su familia unida que hab\u00eda extra\u00f1ado terriblemente, con una maleta llena de ropa, perfumes y discos internacionales; Dionne Warwick, Tom Jones, Andy Williams y Engelbert Humperdinck. Por ahora Marco ten\u00eda unos 12 a\u00f1os y esta m\u00fasica dar\u00eda forma a sus gustos musicales en las pr\u00f3ximas d\u00e9cadas. Cuando eran j\u00f3venes, Ruben y Marco jugaban juegos de cartas como el Casino y se sentaban frente a un tablero de ajedrez durante horas, planificando estrat\u00e9gicamente todos y cada uno de los movimientos para obtener la victoria. Su padre se unir\u00eda a ellos en combates de tuerza de brazos, alentando a sus muchachos en una sana competencia.<\/em><\/p>\n Despu\u00e9s de regresar de Nueva York, Ruben consigui\u00f3 trabajo como representante m\u00e9dico y se le otorg\u00f3 un autom\u00f3vil de la empresa, un Volkswagen Beetle marr\u00f3n. Rub\u00e9n sol\u00eda llevar a Marco a dar un paseo en el Escarabajo, visitar amigos o simplemente pasar el rato. Sin embargo, a medida que envejec\u00edan, con la brecha de cinco a\u00f1os, era inevitable que se separaran un poco. Rub\u00e9n ten\u00eda a sus amigos y a los de Marco siendo m\u00e1s j\u00f3venes, se mudaron en diferentes c\u00edrculos por un tiempo. Cuando Marco ten\u00eda 27 a\u00f1os, Rub\u00e9n se hab\u00eda casado Gladys y los hermanos llevaban vidas muy diferentes. Marco emigr\u00f3 a Australia y su relaci\u00f3n se convertir\u00eda en una en la que las aventuras diarias y los abrazos fraternos fueron reemplazados por llamadas telef\u00f3nicas y cartas de caracol acompa\u00f1adas de fotograf\u00edas familiares impresas. Pasar\u00edan 13 a\u00f1os antes de que se volvieran a ver. En esos raros viajes de regreso a Lima, Marco se turnaba para quedarse en cada una de las casas de sus hermanos. Rub\u00e9n era un poco adicto al trabajo, pero cuando Marco estaba en la Lima, tra\u00eda su trabajo a casa y establec\u00eda una oficina para poder estar todo el d\u00eda, haciendo malabarismos para atender llamadas telef\u00f3nicas para su trabajo de env\u00edo internacional y pasar tiempo con su hermano.\u00a0<\/em>Sus lugares favoritos para ir eran el Swiss Club o el Caf\u00e9 Hait\u00ed con vista al Parque Kennedy, un lugar que hab\u00eda existido desde su infancia. Ruben conducir\u00eda su vieja camioneta Fiat Lada de color marr\u00f3n oscuro a trav\u00e9s del tr\u00e1fico ca\u00f3tico, solo para una excursi\u00f3n para tomar un caf\u00e9 y una comida y luego tal vez compartir su amor por lavar el autom\u00f3vil hasta que brillara como un diamante a la luz del sol. Su padre, que era taxista y estaba obsesionado fastidiosamente con tener un auto limpio, se les peg\u00f3 a los ni\u00f1os y atend\u00eda el auto, fue una oportunidad para recordar el pasado. Por las noches, Rub\u00e9n o Marco caminaban desde la casa de Rub\u00e9n hasta la tienda de la esquina para comprar “lonche”, el equivalente peruano de una cena ligera; panecillos blancos frescos con jam\u00f3n y queso. Los dos pod\u00edan hablar durante horas, discutiendo asuntos de actualidad, relaciones internacionales, m\u00fasica y viejos amigos del vecindario.<\/em><\/p>\n Rub\u00e9n, como hermano mayor, aconsejar\u00eda a Marco sobre varios temas y Marco, el hermano menor obediente, siempre escuchar\u00eda y obedecer\u00eda en su mayor\u00eda. Rub\u00e9n lo dijo como era, pero lo hizo de una manera amigable y protectora, y as\u00ed fue desde el d\u00eda en que Marco naci\u00f3 y su hermano de cinco a\u00f1os lo sostuvo por primera vez en sus brazos. Despu\u00e9s de presenciar que el hermano mayor Miguel enfrenta un dif\u00edcil viaje con su propia batalla contra el c\u00e1ncer y de conquistarlo, todos cre\u00edmos que Rub\u00e9n podr\u00eda salir adelante. El cancer le quito lavida a los 64 a<\/em>\u00f1os. Nunca tuvo la oportunidad de retirarse or de disfrutar sus a\u00f1os dorados despu\u00e9s de casi cincuenta a\u00f1os en la fuerza laboral. Entonces, ahora que la conmoci\u00f3n se ha desvanecido un poco, es hora de dejar en papel los recuerdos que tenemos de Rub\u00e9n. Escribiremos historias de \u00e9l y las compartiremos con su familia y con los nietos de Marco, para que sepan mas, y a pesar de que tenian un Tio Ruben, que lamentablement nunca conocieron en persona, pero que podieron conocer a traves de la narracion de las historias de su vida.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" English \u2013 6 minute read\/Espa\u00f1ol – Lectura de 6 minutos Today is the fourth anniversary of the death of my brother-in-law Ruben, who lived in Lima, Peru. My husband Marco came to Australia 35 years ago and so for most of their adult lives, the two brothers could only communicate over the phone. They spent […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-48","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quirkycharacters.com.au\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quirkycharacters.com.au\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quirkycharacters.com.au\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quirkycharacters.com.au\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quirkycharacters.com.au\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/quirkycharacters.com.au\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":79,"href":"https:\/\/quirkycharacters.com.au\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions\/79"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quirkycharacters.com.au\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quirkycharacters.com.au\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quirkycharacters.com.au\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"Neyras](\"https:\/\/quirkycharacters.com.au\/stories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/1958-Neyras-at-dinner-table.jpg\")
<\/p>\n